So.... what happened?

That is what I am asking myself. I had managed to overcome so many obstacles in my pilot training. And then all of a sudden, I realize it's been almost 7 month's since I have flown. Lemme get this straight. I pass my written exam, go through one of the longest medical certification processes known to man and government, fight my way to soloing, have an in-flight emergency, muster the courage to get back in the plane and fly another 4 times or so, and then I stop!? What the heck is wrong with me?

Ok, I don't need to pretend I don't really understand what happened. I still had some residual fear from my inflight emergency, and I let any and every excuse deter me. Daylight savings meant I could only fly nights and weekends through fall and winter. Evie was getting bigger by the day and a lot more fun. Hunting season started sucking up weekends. Holidays swept us a way. I had a very important and stressful project at work. Come spring, I kept telling myself, get back up, get back up, and I let weekend after evening pass by. All of which was a convenient excuse for not fully dealing with what happened. The engine failure scared me, and honestly it should have. But did it need to scare me right out of the cockpit? It shouldn't have, but I let it, and I rationalized my delay in flying.

Then God gave me a little nudge, but it took me a little while to realize it was Him. I think I recently read a story online about an airplane crash (I know, smart move when I am trying to get over the fright of an engine failure), but this story had a very different outcome. A pilot had engine problems, and was forced to land his plane on a beach. He survived, in fact him and his passenger walked away from the crash unharmed. But as he exited his plane, maybe in elation to have just survived a forced crash landing, perhaps even self-congratulating his piloting skill, he realized he killed a person on the ground. Here is this person, married, two kids, strolling along the beach, probably vacationing. He probably never saw it coming. Here one moment, gone the next. While practicing these past few months what I would like to call "risk aversion," I realize (again) I really have no control when God calls me home. Now of course, there is no reason to be reckless, but flying a well maintained aircraft responsibly and safely is not reckless.

No more. I will finish what I have started. So, you will soon see a rush of postings. I am making a commitment, with Laura's full cooperation and support, to get this done in May. Not this summer, but in May. Sure, weather might conspire against me, but I have almost all the requirements done, all I need to do is knock the rust off, finish those last few requirements, practice and get within PTS standards, and get my checkride done.

So wish me luck and safe flying, within the next 45 days, I hope I can call myself a pilot!